Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
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