Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
