He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
