In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
