Since when is my name a synonym for head?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
