I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
