Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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