Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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