why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
