So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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