I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
