maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize