I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
