Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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