just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
