I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I need a hoe opinion
go on
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
