Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
