idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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