so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
