that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Randomize
