maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
