The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
