you lied. pity sex is amazing.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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