First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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