I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
