OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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