why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
nutella sex= disaster
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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