First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
