So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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