I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
