So drunk its hurt
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
if i can run in heels then i can drive
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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