Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
