drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
