why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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