if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i now understand why vodka
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Randomize
