yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize