chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
