I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
