Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
