This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
