We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
