so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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