he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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