Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
