So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
