We named our party play list daddy issues
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
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