We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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