Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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