Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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