Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
